1. You are no longer with your girlfriend.

2. You are still with your girlfriend, but you want something on the side.

3. You saw me with another guy, and you’re into that.

4. You saw me with another guy, and so you think that it is finally safe for us to converse without any romantic implications and thus have a platonic friendship.

5. It’s the end of the year and you decided you want me in your life next year, for whatever reason (see 1-4), so you are trying to establish this acquaintanceship.

6. It’s the end of the year, and summer is basically a built in grace period, so whatever happens due to whatever motive you have (see 1-4) can be shoved under the rug and you can ignore me next year.

7. You really are strung out on caffeine and kind of crazy (but then again, so am I, so I can’t judge at all, can I)