uh, awkwardly serious post on Christmas Day

Post-present-opening this morning (for the record, my parents views Christmas as an utilitarian opportunity to exchange highly practical household items. This year I received an electric toothbrush, which is actually pretty indulgent by my parents’ standards; my mother was delighted by my gift of sponges and dishwasher detergent tablets. You think I’m joking, but I’m really not.), my Christian relatives were all, “Great now let’s go to service!”

Here’s the thing: I’m not an atheist, but I’m also not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Daoist, or any other denomination of organized religion. The closest denomination I can sort of identify with is Unitarian Universalist.  And while I’ve attended services before with occasional enjoyment, and briefly dated a very religious boy in high school, the idea of going to a Chinese Christian service was just really really unappealing. In fact, I think I might identify with Chinese Christians even less than regular non-cultural-affiliated Christians. I already have both race/cultural identity ambiguity and religious identity ambiguity so let’s not combine the two. 

After I (very politely) declined the offer, my secular parents followed suit. My uncle tried to change my mind by pointing out that if I had any inkling to do anything remotely related to American politics or policy, I should get acquainted with Christianity or it’ll be harder to get a job. 

This is where I draw the line.

I’m sorry, that is ABSURD. Are you seriously trying to get me to go to church by using my academic and potential career interests as leverage? Really? Are you suggesting that I get “acquainted” with a religion for purposes of career advancement? I understand that Americans are more hesitant to vote an atheist into the Oval Office than a candidate of any other organized religion, but I am not anticipating a run for public office in like, ever. Not to mention the fact that if my future employer were uncomfortable with my lack of organized religion affiliation, I probably wouldn’t be comfortable with said employer. Not to mention that fact that being “acquainted” with Christianity will also mean jack shit, because it all means jack shit unless you actually identify with a religious view, not just merely “acquainted”. Not to mention the fact that I have, in fact, been exposed to Christianity on a regular basis and am not a member of a Chinese Christian congregation by choice not by circumstance.  Not the mention the fact that going to ONE Christmas Day service is not going to make a difference.

So then I just kind of chewed my toast awkwardly and stared at him and my expression must have said it all because he looked kind of sheepish and instead asked for directions to get to the church. And now, my parents and I will go to the movie theater, per our usual tradition, to join the company of other Jews and Muslims and atheists and Buddhists and secularists. And maybe I’ll pray to some ambiguous deity of my own faith, by myself tonight, or go to an Unitarian service this Easter, or stray further and further into atheism territory, or wallow forever in this agnostic purgatory but I think I’m okay with that.